There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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