we have officially lost it.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was born a porn star she said
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize