I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
