This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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