this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize