i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
