I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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