I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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