Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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