That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so let's talk penis.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
