Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you win again, gameday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
