I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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