went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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