shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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