I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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