you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
