dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We have started to decorate penises.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
