Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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