well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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