I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
