Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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