every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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