it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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