I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
this hospital has no fireball
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
