Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
