What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I cut my penus on the lid.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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