this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
