Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
