Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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