I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize