spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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