I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize