He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
