I feel great
I just peed on a car
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
