mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
