Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize