I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
