Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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