I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The air was thick with penises
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
