guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
