youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ketchup is God's man juice
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize