he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
