she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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