so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize