My room smells like vodka and shame
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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