God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I understand Curling. That high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
