As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
