can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
