So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
