Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
