I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
