I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
