Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
