I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
