That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
