I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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