the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize