i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
