Apparently you make a good broom.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would ride that face into the sunset
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
