If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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