halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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