We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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