4 words: hood of his car
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
