feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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