i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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