I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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