It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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