this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Still dying that you shit outside
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
