Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize