just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
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