Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
