I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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