well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
