im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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