Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my shit smells like andre
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
