He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize