Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
