He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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