I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
